November 1992, Page 28, 87

Women

Israeli and Palestinian Leaders Try Interactive Problem-Solving

By Andrea W. Lorenz

Although the Palestinian-Israeli peace talks have yet to produce concrete results, just beyond the earshot of the world and the media another set of talks is laying the groundwork for improved relations between the two communities. In the second in a series of interactive problem-solving workshops, 12 politically influential Israeli and Palestinian women will spend five days this winter in intensive meetings in a private setting in the U.S.

The participants include, among others, high-level government members on the Israeli side and people close to the negotiating team on the Palestinian side. The Washington Report was asked not to reveal their identities because confidentiality is one of the provisions of the workshop. The Joyce Mertz Gilmore Foundation and the U.S. Institute of Peace are the project's main funders.

The meeting will take place under the guidance of Dr. Herbert Kelman, a Harvard professor of social psychology who has conducted dialogue meetings between Israelis and Palestinians since 1975. All of the meetings have included both men and women except two, the first in 1987 and the second this winter.

Dr. Kelman is respected by both sides and has a reputation for putting his subjects at ease. His workshops are meant to start the creative juices flowing, away from the highly charged atmosphere of official negotations.

The participants were chosen on the basis of their access to decision-makers. Dr. Kelman and his associates began the recruitment process with one key person on each side. They then consulted with that person and with each successive invitee in selecting the rest of the members.

Professor Kelman explained that the purpose of the meetings is not for the members to discuss facts and figures about the dispute, but to begin to understand the fears, emotions, and collective historical traumas that motivate the other side's actions. He told the Washington Report, "Even though I'm dealing with sophisticated, knowledgeable people, I've found there is a lot they don't know about each other's communities."

According to Eileen Babbitt, a former student and now an associate of Professor Kelman, much of his success lies in preparing participants beforehand. Dr. Kelman spends time with each one prior to the workshop, explaining the workshop's purpose, requirements and format, and talking out any fears or apprehensions she may have.

As the "third party," te job of Dr. Kelman and his team of associates is to keep the discussion going. They observe, but they do not take sides, propose solutions, or approve or disapprove of one position or another. Dr. Kelman occasionally points out contradictions in a particpant's argument, elicits clarifications, or sums up what the group has covered during the course of a session. This winter only women will make up the third party.

Their first task in preparing for the workshop will be to develop a "loose agenda." Topics will not include technical matters such as water rights, taxes, or specific boundaries. Rather, they will focus on broader issues such as the nature of interim self-government, the meaning of the right of return, and how to define "self-determination" and "nationhood." The representatives will also explore what kinds of reassurances and acknowledgements from the other side they can take back to their communities. Dr. Kelman explained that "each side has existential fears" and is looking for gestures and confidence-building measures from the other.

Another important aspect of the workshops is for participants to clarify the nature of public opinion within their respective communities. They will discuss the constraints within which the negotiators are working and the limits to which they can go without losing credibility.

Essential Ground Rules

With participants dining together and spending long, intense and emotional days in each other's company, a set of ground rules is essential. The first is the admonition to avoid polemical debating. While they are urged to talk freely, they also must listen-not with the intention of forming a rebuttal, but with the purpose of trying to understand the other side.

There is no commitment to a final product. Dr. Kelman does not want participants to feel pressured to produce a signed document or a public statement. Nothing is made public except by unanimous consent. "We consider it a success if people come away having learned something," he said.

Why invite only women? According to Professor Kelman there are distinct differences between women and men in their approach to conflict and negotiation. Sometimes men use "feminine" techniques and women use "masculine" techniques, he explained. Women tend to be more open to process, while men tend to be more interested in outcome. Because men predominate in the negotiating arena, "the female appraoch is underutilized and needs to be explored," he said.

"There is much less posturing among women," one of the participants told the Washington Report. "The difference between the way women and men communicate is that women socialize, get personal, listen more, exchange emotions. There is a sense of comfort and informality that is not there when men participate."

Eileen Babbitt has observed both mixed-gender and women-only workshops. "It's not that the women agreed on issues any more readily than the men," she explained, referring to the first such workshop, which was held in 1987. "It was the quality of the exchange that was different."

Another difference, she said, is that women spend more time together outside the formal meetings. During the 1987 workshop, for example, they often would stay up long into the night exploring the issues and exchanging personal experiences.

During the workshops, a Palestinian participant said, "We try to remove layer after layer of preconceptions." What has she learned through attending these meetings? "I have learned where the Israelis' raw nerve is. I've learned to accept the centrality of the Holocaust in their experience."

She added, "The meetings are often very sad. We know each other's childrens' names, their activities. . . It's inevitable that these contacts humanize the struggle."

Andrea W. Lorenz is the features editor of the Washington Report on Middle East Affairs.